So, about that Buzzfeed article…
1.Queensland is BIG
It is. My family caravanned around Queensland quite a bit when I was younger, and I’ve driven across it myself a few times. I was born at Anglers Paradise, on the Gold Coast, but grew up in the “home of the thunderstorms” – the Aboriginal name for our home in the farmlands to the west. We lived in the shadow of the Great Dividing Range, and from our house you could often see the lights of trucks coming down ‘the Gap’. My mum is about to move to Bundaberg to manage their local caravan parks, and if we ever manage to book our flights home for summer we will be spending quite a bit of time with her up there. Bundaberg is the home of our state rum, and it’s gorgeous.
4. And it’s home to these bad boys
Never mind cassowaries, how about GIANT BROWN FLYING COCKROACHES. This is legitimately the main reason I left Queensland. Growing up, my bedroom was in an enclosed verandah, and the number of times I woke up with cockroaches crawling on me – ON MY FACE…ugh
7. And every other day is HOT.
Think you know what hot is? Get yourself branded by a seatbelt buckle.
9. And you’re well acquainted with your state transport system
Does Queensland have a transport system? I don’t know anyone without a car. Pat’s Coaches was the only public transport option between my home and the Gold Coast when I was growing up, and he stopped driving in about 1994.
11. You don’t own an umbrella
This is one of my failings.
12. But you do NEED an umbrella. Often.
13. Because it doesn’t rain in Queensland. Water just ERUPTS FROM THE SKY
Yep, check out this weekend’s news. And there is a Qld Facebook group with half a million likes called “Higgins Storm Chasing”
15. Every sentence needs to end with ‘hey’.
That’s true, hey
17. Everyone’s pretty laid back. Even the police.
They wear shorts and ride bicycles in Surfers.
18. You know that the ocean is a shared space
Just don’t go in there.
20. Ah, Campbell.
22. You’ve never been to the Whitsundays but your friends from other states have.
23. November and Schoolies are the worst thing in the world.
My grandfather spent many Novembers shouting at the nightly news.
24. You have a precise understanding of both ‘time’ and ‘daylight’
Which Southerners do not. Leave the clocks alone!
25. You steer clear of the theme park ridden Gold Coast unless you absolutely have to.
I loathe theme parks. Most boring things on the planet. One of my jobs during uni was at Movieworld. I started on the registers in Yosemite Sam’s Diner and worked my way up to Chef. This meant I had to wear gloves up to my elbow and sit in the cold room squishing bits of chicken.
26. And these things are the worst
27. Well, I don’t live there anymore, but there is nothing like a January storm in Queensland